Whether we like it or not, people don’t just want a service anymore, Josh Ries writes. They want alignment. They want to know what you stand for and against.
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A Facebook post recently got me thinking. It wasn’t about real estate at all, but it hit a nerve because it perfectly captured something I’ve seen play out in our industry every day (Thank you to Jonas Helbert, a broker in Ohio, for the inspiration behind this article).
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The post was about politics, specifically how people now only get outraged when it’s convenient for their side. But what stood out to me wasn’t the argument. It was the pattern behind it: A growing trend of tribal loyalty that’s bleeding into every corner of society, including real estate.
In that moment, I realized something. As marketers, as business owners and as agents, we’ve got to understand how this plays out in lead generation. Whether we like it or not, people don’t just want a service anymore. They want alignment. They want to know what you stand for. And increasingly, they want to know what you stand against.
When I say Compass or Zillow, what does that make you feel?
Let’s make this real. Say the words Compass or Zillow out loud and take a beat. What do you feel? Some of you probably just felt a spike in your blood pressure. Others rolled your eyes. And a few of you might’ve leaned in closer, thinking, “What now?”
That’s because those names, Compass and Zillow, are not neutral anymore. They’ve become symbols. To some agents, Compass means overhyped tech and recruiting gimmicks. To others, it’s sleek systems and elite branding. Zillow? To some, it’s the death of the independent agent. To others, it’s a lead source they quietly depend on.
What matters here isn’t what you think about either company. It’s that you think something. That emotional response, good, bad or complicated, is proof that brands can become tribes. And in today’s market, if you want your message to land, you need to understand the tribal language your audience is already speaking.
Selective outrage isn’t new. It’s just visible now
The thing about selective outrage is that it has always existed. People have always justified bad behavior from “their side” while pointing fingers at the other. What’s changed is that now it’s on display for everyone to see, all the time. And because of how connected we are online, the pressure to pick a side and publicly signal it is stronger than ever.
When people see bad behavior from their “team,” they stay quiet. When the other side slips up, they amplify it. It’s not about truth. It’s about belonging. Outrage, oddly enough, has become a way to feel connected to something bigger than yourself. And that need for connection, for identity, is exactly why this matters in your marketing.
Tribal alignment is the new marketing strategy
We’re living in a market where people aren’t just looking for a service provider. They’re looking for someone who gets them. They want to hire agents who share their values, their frustrations, even their industry enemies. That means clarity is more important than ever. When you’re clear about what you stand for, people feel safer choosing you. When you’re vague, they scroll right past you.
If your clients are frustrated with high-pressure tactics or bait-and-switch listings, say that out loud. If you believe in transparency, education and long-term thinking, show it.
And if you’ve built your business around strategies that don’t rely on third-party platforms or massive ad spend, share the why. The more specific you get, the more magnetic your message becomes.
Clarity doesn’t repel opportunity. It attracts loyalty.
You don’t need to be everyone’s agent
Here’s the hardest truth for most agents to accept. If you try to appeal to everyone, you’ll get forgotten by everyone. Generic messages don’t work anymore. In a noisy world, neutral is invisible. And let’s be honest, safe content doesn’t convert. If someone can’t tell what you believe in after following you for a week, they won’t trust you when it’s time to hire someone.
But the flip side is powerful. The more you define who you’re for, the easier it becomes to attract the right people. When you’re known for being clear, not just nice, you attract trust.
You make it easier for people to refer you because they know exactly who you’re for. That’s how you build brand loyalty before the listing presentation even starts. And that’s why agents who stop chasing general approval often end up with more clients, not fewer.
Pick a side, but do it ethically
Let me be clear. I’m not telling you to pick fights or trash-talk people online. There’s a difference between strategic positioning and personal attacks. You don’t need to gossip about other agents, bully a competitor or get sucked into drama to stand out.
What you do need is the courage to call out broken systems, to question outdated strategies and to speak clearly about what makes your approach different. If Zillow’s model doesn’t align with how you believe real estate should work, talk about that. If you think buyers deserve more than a script and a search link, say that too. But make sure it’s about ideas, not individuals.
The goal is not to tear others down. It’s to lift up the people who believe what you believe. It’s to give your dream clients a reason to trust that you’re on their side. Because that’s what people are looking for right now — someone they can align with. Someone who sees the market the way they do. And someone who has the confidence to lead them through it.
Josh Ries is a real estate broker and a lead generation consultant. You can connect with him on TikTok and Instagram.
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